At the risk of sounding silly and love-obsessed, I’m wondering if you can help me identify real feelings. For all the relationships I’ve been in and the hurt I’ve experienced, I still feel like I don’t know what I’m looking for with someone. I worry you’re going to tell me, “No one can tell you what love feels like; you have to experience it for yourself!” But I genuinely want to know the signs I’m searching for.
Is it butterflies in my stomach? Or is it a sense of peace and calm?
Is it fireworks and lightning? Or is it a soft internal “glow”?
I feel so lost, like I don’t know what people (or Disney movies) are talking about when they describe “true love.” IS there such a thing? Am I foolish for even searching for it? What if I feel butterflies but take that as nervousness and a warning sign? What if I feel comfort and safety, but it feels just like the love I feel for my friends? I just don’t want love to pass me by if I mistake my feelings for something else.
You don’t sound silly or love-obsessed at all. Love and relationships can be confusing. As you allude to, different relationships yield different kinds of love—the love we have for our family, friends, and romantic partners can be quite different. To confuse matters further, the love we have for romantic partners—especially long-term romantic partners—can at different points in the relationship feel like all of the above.
At the beginning, and hopefully at various points throughout a relationship, love feels like the fireworks you mention. Long-term romantic partners can, indeed, feel like friends who provide a feeling of comfort and safety. When love is deep and long-lasting, it often has the roots and permanence of familial love.
At the end of this session i can tell you Love is awesome feeling,
It cannot be predicted.
What is real love in other words